


Shooting for the Stars

by OnceYoungHearts



Category: Fall Out Boy, I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Astrology, Drug Use, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Horoscopes, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23797336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceYoungHearts/pseuds/OnceYoungHearts
Summary: Everyone is divided into towns based on what sign of the zodiac they have. When Ryan meets a boy from a neighbouring town, he finally starts to question if the life he's leading is truly the one he wants.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross/Kate Marie Thompson, Spencer Smith/Jon Walker
Kudos: 14





	1. Passing Fancy

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a random tumblr prompt my sister sent me ages ago, and this is somehow what it became. I don't know how long this will end up being, but I'll try to update weekly.

Ryan was sitting on a grassy hill, overlooking the majority of his town. Typically, he’d be down with the other workers, doing whatever physical labour had been assigned to him on that day, however he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He ripped a fistfull of grass out by the roots and tossed it weakly forward. It wasn’t as satisfying as he’d hoped. 

Everyone he could see was moving in organized patterns, seeming like a beehive from his perspective. He could pick out all the familiar people that were probably wondering where he was, and he hoped they didn’t think to glance in his direction. He really should have picked a better hiding spot to not be found, but this was the only place he could see the neighbouring town from.

He turned around, raking his eyes over the drastically different landscape on the other side of the hills. These people looked like utter chaos. Half of them moved at a run, dashing around the people that were standing still. Some were dancing and singing, others working. He always found it fascinating to see how they functioned. Their ways of life made no sense to him, but clearly they managed to stay alive, so it couldn’t have been as anarchic as it appeared. Their population was much smaller than his own town’s, so he figured it would be easier to upkeep. 

He heard footsteps climbing the hill from behind him, and he flinched a little as his name was called in a stern tone. “Ryan, what the hell are you doing up here again?” His mother grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet. “I swear I raised you better than this.”

“Sorry.” None of his excuses would be good enough for her, so he silently followed her back down the hill and lined up in the queue for lunch. His mom was in front of him, and he could tell by the stiff set of her shoulders that she was furious. They’d been having arguments on and off for about a week or so. Well, they’d been having the same argument.

Kate appeared next to him, grabbing his arm and slipping into line with him. “Hey, I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.” She stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek. 

Ryan’s mom turned around with a huge smile on her face. “Oh Kate, thank goodness. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.” She pulled Kate into a hug, and Ryan had to restrain himself from groaning out loud.

“We are not talking about this right now,” Ryan said in a way he hoped left no room for argument. Kate looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press the issue as the line shuffled forward and they got closer to the front. 

“It’s not like we’ve got all the time in the world,” his mother muttered facing forward again.

Ryan clenched his fists, and Kate gently pried them back open, threading her fingers through his. She smiled at him, and he tried to reciprocate. 

They sat at the same table to eat, the meal consisting of some kind of oatmeal with fruit on the side. No one said anything, and Ryan was silently grateful to whatever deity had made his mother shut up for those glorious minutes. He ended up pushing most of the mush around his plate as the others finished, not feeling hungry since he hadn’t done any work yet. 

Kate cleared all of their dishes, leaving Ryan and his mother alone at the table while she took them to the kitchen to give them to whoever was on dishwasher duty. The second she was out of eye sight, his mom fixed him with a meaningful glare.

“Look, I’ll talk to her.” He didn’t know how long he could put it off, but he was going to try his best to keep doing so.

“Talking is not what I care about,” she scoffed.

“Seriously, will you drop it? If it doesn’t happen we can just wait until next year.” The second he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

“There’s no reason to wait until next year. Now’s the perfect time. So you’re going to do it now, like we talked about.” Her voice got louder, but she still wasn’t quite yelling. Ryan figured this was a common conversation to be having at this time of year, but he was still glad the people around them weren’t listening in. A family sat down at the table with them, and Ryan nodded in greeting, taking the opportunity to flee from his mother. 

He got up and intercepted Kate before she made it back to the table, steering her out of the dining hall and down an alleyway where he hoped his mom wouldn’t follow. He glanced behind them, taking a few more turns at random down streets and between buildings, eventually satisfied that they were alone. 

Kate stood looking at him, a hand on her hip. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” 

Ryan sighed, ducking his head and staring at their shoes. “She uh, thinks it’s really important for us to get pregnant during this window.” Kate didn’t make a sound in reply, and Ryan dared a glance up to see her expression. She looked purely confused.

“So? Why are you upset? I think that’s a perfect idea.” 

Ryan flinched, his worst fears solidifying around him.

\------------

Brendon rolled over and smacked his alarm clock, silencing it for the third time that morning. He groaned, pulling a pillow over his head to block out the sunlight.

Judging by the crashing sound followed by stomping footsteps, his brother had just kicked his door open. Brendon reached his arm down around the mattress and held on as Mason grabbed his ankles and attempted to yank him out of bed. 

“It’s time to get the fuck up Brendon. My ass is on the line here and I’m sure as shit not getting fired for you.” Mason pulled aggressively, huffing in annoyance. 

“Yeah, I’m getting up!” Brendon kicked his legs free of Mason’s hold and rolled into a seated position. His eyes were still mostly closed, but he could just barely make out Mason’s retreating figure as he stormed from the room. 

Brendon got dressed still half asleep, throwing clothes on and running a hand through his hair until he was satisfied with the intentionally messy look. He ran down the stairs two at a time, almost slamming into Mason who was holding the front door open. He gave Brendon a once over, clearly disapproving of his choices, and led the way out the door without a word. Brendon sighed and followed a few steps behind. 

The walk to the shop never felt as long as Brendon wanted it to. He dragged his feet, resenting each step for bringing him closer to his eight hours of hell. Mason didn’t look back to check on him, and he’d already disappeared into the shop, unlocking the door and flipping the sign to open, when Brendon turned onto the last street. 

Brendon tried to stall his start time for a few more minutes with a smoke. He pulled out the metal tin his sister had given him as a birthday present the previous year and lit up one of the joints inside. He leaned against the building, idly kicking some garbage out of the way, and watched the few people who were up this early walking down the street. 

Everyone seemed grumpy and like they’d rather still be in bed. Brendon couldn’t blame them. He’d been up most of the night at a party, celebrating something he couldn’t remember. It wasn’t birthday or half birthday season, and the holidays had already passed, but they tended to find occasions to throw parties most nights. The headache he’d woken up with seemed to be gathering strength and planning a full takeover of his brain, but he was pretty sure he’d used up the last of his sick days already.

Brendon flicked the butt of his cigarette into the street amongst all the others that lay there and went inside the building. The smell of cleaning products accosted his nose, and he tried to only groan internally. Mason was setting up his station with the tools he’d need for the first client, and glared at Brendon as he walked past to get his apron from the back.

Mason had been working in the hair salon since he was old enough to hold scissors. He was genuinely passionate about it, and their parents were glad that he wanted to do something artistic. Brendon still hadn’t found anything he cared about as much as Mason loved cutting hair, so his parents had forced him to get this unpaid internship, hoping some of Mason’s enthusiasm would rub off on him. So far all he’d learned was that he hated cleaning the bowls of bleach, and having tiny pieces of hair stuck in his clothes at the end of the day was the most uncomfortable thing ever. 

He’d barely taken one step out of the backroom when Mason started barking directions at him. “Can you refill the shampoo at sink two? Also, the bathroom’s out of toilet paper.”

Brendon stomped away, not allowing himself to consider how satisfying it would feel to punch a hole in the wall. He was pretty sure his story about a ladder falling over would only work once.

He grabbed the huge jug of shampoo and poured it into the smaller bottle as quickly as possible. He couldn’t have cared less that half of the stuff ended up spilling over and going into the sink. The gurgling sound of the expensive shampoo pouring down the drain was the first thing to make him smile all day.

He went into the bathroom, but the extra toilet paper that they stored behind the door was also empty. He attempted to not look too happy as he told Mason.

“Hey, we’re fully out. I’ll just run to the store and grab some.” He started taking off his apron and grabbed some money from the cash register.

“Seriously? I told him to order some last week. Fuck, fine. Just be quick about it.” Brendon flashed a thumbs up on his way out the door. “And don’t be splurging on two ply!” Mason’s voice faded as Brendon took off at a run, trying to put as much distance between him and the salon as possible. 

Brendon jogged to the edge of town, the money hastily shoved in his pocket and forgotten. He took deep cleansing breaths of air as he walked along the fence that marked the edge of their territory. He let his finger drag along the chain link, which barely reached up to his chest. The fence was more symbolic than an actual security measure. 

The backyards that he could see into were all empty, everyone either still asleep or at their jobs already. He glanced up the hill on the other side of the fence and his eye caught on a guy sitting up there. His footsteps halted as he studied the boy with interest. He took one more look around to make sure no one was watching, and hopped the fence, making his way up the hill. 

The wind was blowing gently against the boy, moving his hair around as he looked away from Brendon. He turned and caught sight of the movement, startling and placing a hand over his chest. 

"Holy shit, I did not see you coming," the guy said.

Brendon chuckled and held his hands up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out. I just saw you sitting up here and…"

The guy smiled and stood up, holding out a hand to shake Brendon's. "I'm Ryan. I don't think I've seen you around?"

Brendon dropped his hand and took a step back. "Uh yeah, you haven't. I'm from…" He glanced back towards his town before looking at Ryan to see if he'd figured it out. 

Ryan made a squeaking sound, tripped over his feet, and fell down as he tried to back away. He looked up at Brendon with a mixture of shock and terror. "You're an aries?" 

Brendon nodded and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know I'm not allowed to be here. I just really wanted to talk to you. I've never seen a virgo up close before." 

Ryan continued to stare, his mouth open but no words coming out. Brendon nodded to himself, feeling like he'd made another impulsive mistake. "Well, sorry to bother you. It was great to meet you, Ryan." Brendon waved awkwardly and made his way back down the hill towards the store.

As he jumped the fence he heard a shrill voice call out, “Ryan, what the hell are you doing up here again?” Brendon turned around to see a woman haul Ryan to his feet and lead him back into town. He stood staring at the empty hill for a few moments longer before he realized how much time had passed, and that Mason would strangle him if he didn’t get back to the salon with the toilet paper soon. 

Brendon took off at a run, the sensation of shaking hands with a virgo still lingering in his fingertips. He couldn’t stop his mind from wondering what Ryan’s life was like, and why the rules about them mingling were so ridiculously strict.

\------------

Ryan attempted to stop his mouth from gaping and nodded at Kate. “Okay, can we talk about this having children thing later? I have to be somewhere.”  _ Anywhere but here. _

“Yeah, of course hun. I’ll see you back at home later?” Kate rested her hand on his arm, and Ryan did his best to smile at her.

“Yes. You will. Have a good rest of your day at work.” Ryan wasn’t even sure what he was saying as he backed away, heading in the opposite direction of his job. He’d already blown off the first half of the day, and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to focus on it if he tried to go in now.

He followed the familiar streets to his friends’ house, and found them hanging out in the basement as he’d expected. He flopped down on the couch next to Jon, letting out a deep sigh that he felt like he’d been holding all day as he accepted the beer Spencer offered him.

“Figured you’d turn up eventually,” Spencer said, smirking as Jon passed him five dollars.

Ryan scoffed, “You bet on me bailing on work again? Am I that predictable?” 

“Easy money, my friend,” Spencer said as he pocketed his winnings. “Not that we’re judging you. I’ve been  _ sick _ every day this week.” He put air quotes around sick unnecessarily, since Ryan had been drinking with them more nights than not.

Jon smiled at Ryan knowingly. “So what’s your justification for skipping today?”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“You know,” Jon pressed on. “You always have some specific reason why you didn’t go to work. We admit we just don’t want to, but it’s like you have to justify it to yourself so you don’t feel guilty.”

Ryan crossed his arms. “That’s not true at all.” 

Spencer laughed, putting his beer down so he could count out excuses on his fingers. “Last week you said your back was hurting; you had to go to the store for something urgent, but didn’t specify what it was; you slept in late, and it wasn’t worth it to go after-”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea. Today was just a weird day.” Ryan sipped his beer as the others waited for him to elaborate. He avoided eye contact until they gave up.

“Well, did you want to watch a movie or something?” Spencer tossed him the remote, and he accepted the change in topic with gratitude. 

“Yeah, that’d be great. What’d you guys get up to today?”

Spencer snorted, “Oh man, it was great. You should have seen it. I beat Jon’s high score on Guitar Hero and he almost cried.” 

Jon leaned over to smack what he could reach of Spencer’s arm. “That’s total shit. You cheated, and I was only tearing up because I stubbed my toe mid-song!”

Ryan sunk deeper into the couch and listened to his friends bickering as the movie started. 

\------------

Brendon finished sweeping the hair into a pile and went looking for the dustpan. He could remember seeing it so vividly earlier that day, but the place he’d seen it was not coming to him. Mason dropped his keys on the front desk and called out, “Bren, lock up whenever you’re done. I’ll see you at dinner.” Brendon flailed a distracted wave in his direction and opened another cupboard, still not finding the dustpan. 

He gave up and slid to the floor with his back against the wall. His mind had been distracted by Ryan all day, but he’d managed to get enough work done to at least appear like he cared about the job. Mason had even complimented him for the first time since he’d started. 

Movement in the shop window caught his attention, and he smiled as Gerard entered. He walked up to where Brendon was still sitting on the ground and smirked at him. “What’s up, buddy? Sweeping hair got you all tuckered out?” Gerard pouted at him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Brendon laughed. He studied Gerard’s face for a moment before deciding he had to tell someone. “I did a thing today.”

Gerard joined him on the floor, crossing his legs and propping his head in his hand. “Pray tell.”

Brendon started to chew on the edge of his thumb. “I jumped the fence that faces the virgos.” Gerard’s eyebrows shot up. “I also may have… talked to one of them.” 

He expected Gerard to give him a hard time, maybe remind him how much trouble he could get into. Instead he looked kind of proud. “Hey, took you long enough!”

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve been dating a libra for a few weeks.” Gerard blushed a little, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear.

“What the crap? How have you not told me this? Scratch that, more important question, how have you been meeting up without people finding out?” 

“I can show you if you want?”

Brendon nodded, the memory of where the dustpan was finally coming to him. He threw the sweepings out and turned to Gerard. “I do. I really want that.”


	2. On Another Page

Ryan woke up to his mother sitting down on the edge of his bed. When he cracked his eyes open to look at her, she had a huge smile on her face, and a tray full of breakfast foods in her hands.

"This doesn't look good," he grumbled before turning away.

"What'd you mean?" his mom said with a worried tone to her voice, "I brought all your favourites! I even had the cooks whip up some eggs because they weren't being served today!" He heard the sound of her laying the tray down on the floor, and he rolled over with a groan.

"That's exactly what I mean. You're being too nice, which means you have bad news." 

His mom narrowed her eyes. "That is wholly untrue, mister. On the contrary, I have great news!" The smile that formed on her face filled Ryan with an inexplicable sense of dread. "I had a lovely chat with Kate-"

"Oh, nope! This is not happening." Ryan hopped over the foot of his bed to get around his mother. He searched the floor frantically for a clean shirt and pants to throw on.

"Ryan, we have to talk about this. You know the window is closing. If you and Kate don't conceive in the next two weeks, the child likely won't be a virgo."

"Yes, I know how it works," Ryan said through clenched teeth. "This is so none of your business."

"Ryan, sit down," his mom said, her tone suddenly serious and demanding. He paused for a moment, studying his mom's face and realizing he had no option but to have the conversation. "There's something I need to tell you."

Ryan frowned and sat down next to her on the bed, the shirt he'd been about to put on still clutched in his hands. He'd never seen her look so worried. 

"Your father and I managed to conceive you right in the middle of the window. It was perfect, and we were as certain as anyone can be that you would be born a virgo. Maybe that made us complacent. I'd heard stories, always friends of friends, who conceived inside the window and had complications. Sometimes babies are just premature. There's nothing you can do." She was staring at her knees as she talked, but he still nodded for her to continue. "We never thought it would happen to us, but, Ryan, we had another child after you."

His whole world seemed to shift around him as blood soared through his ears. It took him a moment to realize he'd opened his mouth, yet no words had come out. He didn't even know what he could say.

"I'm sorry I never told you, and I'm sorry if I'm pressuring you and Kate to conceive now. I just don't ever want you to go through the pain of losing a child."

Ryan nodded numbly. "What was it?" he managed to ask, his voice sounding far away to his own ears.

His mother exhaled slowly, seeming to need preparation before speaking the word. "Taurus. You have a sister who's a taurus."

Ryan's mind flashed with images of a little sister he never got to know. He couldn't remember his mom ever being pregnant, but he didn't remember much from that long ago. The shirt he was holding slid to the ground as the unbearable weight of loss settled on him. She was so close, living two towns over, probably not even knowing he existed either. He'd never wanted a sibling, but now knowing he could have had one made him feel the emptiness of his childhood in a way he never had before. 

He picked the shirt up and pulled it over his head. His mom had unshed tears in her eyes, and he couldn't look at her for more than a second. "Thank you for being honest with me," he said robotically, his hand patting her shoulder in a comforting gesture that he couldn't really feel. 

She nodded silently as he left the room.

\--------

Brendon had agreed to meet up again with Gerard the next morning since they both had free days. It was earlier than he usually had to get up for work, but he had enough excitement and adrenaline coursing through his veins that he didn't feel tired at all. Brendon paced back and forth as he waited for Gerard to show, feeling more nervous by the second. He was convinced that every person who walked by knew what he was planning, as if " _I plan to break the ultimate law of this town"_ was written in glowing letters across his forehead. He much preferred acting without thinking, because he didn't have to deal with all this worry beforehand.

Gerard showed up a few minute later, carrying a coffee and looking like he hadn't slept at all. "Hey, I'm feeling that we didn't need to do this at ass crack in the morning," Gerard proclaimed.

Brendon took a deep breath and tried not to do either of the things he really wanted, namely jumping up and down or bursting into a Disney song. "Come on! I can't wait another second. You teased me with the possibility of exploring a whole new world and I've never been this excited!"

Gerard sighed. "Yeah, I get it. The first time someone told me it was possible to cross, I freaked out too. It gets kinda commonplace after a while, though."

"That reminds me. How are you going to justify holding out on me for this long? I feel betrayed as a friend," Brendon pouted, not really holding it against him, but still feeling left out.

"Look, I'm sorry but I had to promise. This has to stay super secret. If anyone finds out, not only are we up for possible banishment, but they'll definitely up the security measures and we'll have ruined it for everyone. You're not exactly the most subtle guy I know."

Brendon crossed his arms. "We're aries! None of us are subtle! But I get the importance here, okay? I swear I won't tell anyone." Brendon put on his most earnest expression, which mostly consisted of raising his eyebrows and not blinking.

Gerard started walking off along the fence and Brendon quickly followed. "The real secret here, that no one seems to talk about," Gerard started, seemingly pausing only for dramatic effect, "is that there's no security. There are no cameras or guards; it's really only the rules and fear keeping us out." Brendon nodded, realizing that he'd always known this, but followed the rules anyway. That's just what was done. "There are some spots that are better than others, and of course going at times when most people aren't outside is helpful, but really it's just those few moments where you're actually jumping that you need to be worried about."

They walked along the majority of the virgo perimeter and started past the libra one as Gerard talked. "I've been into the libra the most, obviously. Most of the towns are bigger than ours, so once you're in there people just assume you belong. Try not to act too aries and you'll fit right in." Brendon didn't exactly know how to hide who he was. He'd spent all of his life just being himself and being praised the more loud and reckless he was. "Probably most importantly, don't tell anyone where you're from unless you trust them implicitly. Even the most relaxed people can freak out if they hear you broke the laws like that."

Brendon's steps hesitated, and Gerard smirked without looking back. "You told that virgo guy right away, didn't you?"

Brendon coughed into his fist, his throat suddenly dry. "Uhh, yeah. Of course I did, because I'm hugely stupid."

Gerard laughed and shook his head. "You're probably fine. If he'd told someone, you'd likely be detained already." That didn't make Brendon feel much better, but he decided not to dwell on it. 

"Okay, so can we go see your libra lover now?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"No, now is the worst possible time. They'll all be headed to work, and I won't even know where to find him. We have plans to meet up tonight though, and I suppose you can come and be an awkward third wheel."

"Sounds like oh so much fun," Brendon deadpanned. He did want to see what the other town was like, and he figured the libra might know about some parties that were happening. The idea of being in a foreign place surrounded by strangers for the first time in his life was exciting enough to win him over. "I'm in," he grinned.

\--------

Ryan wandered the streets, not sure where he was headed until he got there. The children were playing outside, running around and shouting. They seemed to be making the most of their short break between classes. Ryan leaned against a nearby tree, watching them and attempting to imagine what it would feel like if his own kid was one of them. 

One of the little boys was standing alone, off to the side with a book. A smile tugged at Ryan's lips as he remembered being just like that kid until Spencer and Jon forced him out of his shell. Reading stories of what the old world was like before the signs were divided, all chaos and war, so many different personalities struggling to relate to each other, had been fascinating in a way his normal life never was. 

He pictured Kate and himself dropping their child off at school, kissing them on the head and wishing them a good day before going off to work. He didn't feel at all excited or happy with that imaginary future. 

He startled as arms wrapped around his stomach and Kate hugged him from behind. He could hear the smile in her voice as she asked, "Finally coming around to the idea?"

Ryan was glad that she couldn't see his face because he was pretty sure it would betray the guilt he was feeling. He took a deep breath and turned around in her arms, pulling her into a proper hug. "I'm so sorry," he muttered against her hair. 

He could feel her body slump in his arms. "Oh," was all she said. Her shoulders began to tremble and he held her closer, both hoping to console her and terrified to see the emotions likely on her face. 

"I really wish I could give you what you want, but I have to be honest about what I want." He found himself whispering the words against her hair, too afraid to speak any louder. His eyes followed the children as they raced back inside the school building. He'd never felt so sure about a decision before. 

Kate pulled back just enough to look at him, and she studied his face, looking neutral despite the tears in her eyes. The tiniest hint of a smile appeared.

"What?" Ryan felt his stomach drop, unable to tell what she was thinking, or why smiling could possibly be her reaction in this moment. 

"I don't know what's caused this sudden change, but you seem to know what you want for the first time since I met you." Ryan tried not to take offense to that, but he really wasn't sure what she meant. He had a lot of opinions, on pretty much everything. They were usually negative opinions, but still. "I just-" she continued before he had time to form an objection, "I feel like you've always wished your life was something different, maybe more like how the old world used to be before the segregation, and that would sound crazy to most people, but you've never seemed satisfied with this life. Or with me." 

He opened his mouth to argue, but couldn't bring himself to tell her another lie. They'd started dating when they were little, their parents being close friends, and while he cared about her a lot, he supposed he couldn't be surprised that of all the times she said she loved him, he'd always avoided saying it back. 

His hands clenched into fists in the back of her shirt. "This says nothing about you. You're wonderful, and any other man would know how lucky he is to have you." His voice lowered even further, to the point where he hoped she wouldn't be able to hear what he said as he muttered, "I think there's something wrong with me." He'd never said those words aloud, but the number of times he'd thought them to himself made it feel like the very words were etched into his brain. 

Kate brought her hand up to cradle his face, her touch so gentle and full of care. "I'm not a doctor, but I think it's a good sign you're following your heart. Keep doing that, and maybe you'll stop feeling that way." She kissed him on the cheek, her lips lingering for a split second extra before she turned and walked away. 

Ryan shivered despite the nice weather as he watched her leave. A combination of dread at what he'd just done, and excitement at the possibilities it opened, left him feeling determined in a way he had never experienced. 

One way or another, he was going to find his sister.


End file.
